Monday, September 9, 2013

The Senses-Shattering Saga of the Metal Men! Part 12!

I have to say, this is actually an issue I'm not that crazy about. You'll see why.

Like in that song "Steal my Sunshine", Tin is indulging in his self-defeat, comparing himself unfavorably to all the other Metal Men. He manages to make these comparisons tie into his loneliness somehow, which takes some imagination on his part.

He goes out for a walk and sees an item in a store window advertising a do-it-yourself robot kit. He gets one and gets to work, creating a Tin girlfriend with no name.

I'm going to be honest with you on a couple of fronts here: one, this strikes me as kind of messed up. There's no way to have a healthy relationship with a creature you created to be your mate, that's weird. Two, I either don't care about or kind of hate the 'Tin-Girl', or 'Nameless' character -- the whole concept goes against everything the team stands for or whatever. She's not interesting, Tin's relationship with her isn't interesting, and I can't wait for her to be gone. She's the 'Cousin Oliver' of the Metal Men, with all due respect to Copper of Keith Giffen's Doom Patrol backup.

Also, I bet Kanigher was kicking himself for already using the nickname "Tina" on Platinum. 

Mercury quickly scares her off with his attitude. As we've all learned by now, all roads lead to space in a Metal Men story. Nameless panics and heads for a flying saucer, but accidentally launches into space. Tin turns into a boomerang and has Iron throw him to her, and I really have to hand it to Tin for thinking on his feet like that. Who else would, when faced with this situation, immediately think "giant boomerang"?

She does catch him, and Tin decides to leave the Metal Men, thinking them better off without him. He resolves to find a place for him and his new babe to live out the rest of their days without being a burden on anybody. You know, I bet at this point the other Metal Men think Tin's an even bigger drama queen than Platinum.

Hey, you know how they went into space? What would you say if I told you Tin and his new ladyfriend met up with a sinister alien robot while they were there? Why is it that these guys seem to mostly fight robots of some kind or other, surely there are other menaces out there. Tin and his galpal check out some planetoids, but let's just say they picked a bad neighborhood. The planetoids are all crawling with messed up robots, from cannibals to a type Tin calls "Termites", who ravenously eat stone and metal (and thus mostly buildings) to grow in size.

They find a deserted planetoid with buildings still standing and land there, only to see a single, massive Termite gnawing away at the wreckage.

This is by far the most normal looking robot they've fought yet, even including the Missile Men and the evil Metal Men from last issue. He's not made out of office furniture, paper presses, or naval ordnance -- it's just a big robot who eats stuff to get bigger. I have to wonder if the civilization that he destroyed created him and his tinier counterparts.

The Termite sees them and gives chase -- even when they head back to Earth in the flying saucer! Evidently the planetoid is equipped for space travel by way of huge rocket thrusters. It manages to get to Earth way before they do, but Tin warns Doc via radio just in time... for him to get knocked out by the Termite stepping on the car he's in. The Metal Men combine their efforts to bring him down, motivated by Doc's injury, but nothing they do seems to hurt the giant eating machine. 

Tin and his doll show up and at Gold's suggestion form a doubly thick tin coating for the head of Iron's hammer form. Obviously, this was just the edge they needed, and the giant Termite crumbles under Lead's blows

The gang's back together and everyone thanks Tin and his new girlfriend. Doc invites readers to suggest a name for her, but everyone just calls her 'Nameless', as I've been alluding to now and then; I admit that I don't like her but that strikes me as a little callous.

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