Big Bang Presents: The Whiz Kids

After the end of the monthly Big Bang title, Big Bang characters continued to appear in a series of one-shots. There were only a handful of these: two each starring Ultiman and the Round Table of America, one Summer Special featuring the Knights of Justice, and this right here, the Whiz Kids. The Whiz Kids, as you might remember, are the Big Bang equivalent of the Teen Titans, and this issue has stories featuring both an Original-Titans style story and a New-Teen-Titans style one.

Starting with the Titans Classic, the Whiz Kids are chilling at their swingin' pad. The writing is intentionally hokey, with the Whiz Kids mostly talking in song lyrics. The art is shaky, and this is clearly not intentional, sad to say.

Anyway, the Whiz Kids head to Florida to Moray's beach house on her invitation, with Moray having retired to attend school full-time. She also has an asshole boyfriend that Cyclone doesn't get along with, a former Navy SEAL and underwater demolitions expert called the Aquamarine. Oh and there's been a rash of shark attacks featuring a huge black shark.

Cyclone survives an encounter with the beast, and the Whiz Kids soon divine that it's actually a robot that looks like a shark. Moreover, it doesn't eat people, it takes them to an underwater plantation where they slave away under the tyranny of a creep called the Great Black Shark. It's a Black Manta thing, and they really go the whole hog here with that theme.

I don't think Manta was ever a black supremacist, at least not to this degree, but let's all agree that enslaving whites isn't the way to make the world better for black people. GBS is one of very few black characters in all of Big Bang, incidentally, but that's a byproduct of BB's focus on adapting the notoriously whitebread Silver Age. Anyway, the action-packed conclusion is a little muddled and clumsily-excecuted, but they trick the GBS into blowing up his own underwater city and get all the prisoners out by way of the mechanical sharks. Moving on...

Above are the new Whiz Kids, or as the team would come to be known with their membership, the Whizzards (I know, awful). In this story, drawn by none other than Chris Samnee (!), the Whizzards face down a threat from Captain Nemo. This guy's backstory is boring enough to not bother you with, but as minor as his role in the story is I think he's one of the more interesting parts.

Gargoyla, Sheborg, Black Power, and (not pictured) Hot Pink join Cyclone in foiling his evil plot. Totem is somewhere else for all this. We get a look at these new characters, their powers, their personalities. They're all basically what you'd expect - Gargoyla is a shrinking violet, Hot Pink is a flighty showoff, Sheborg is cold and rational, etc. 

Yeah, "pep pills", sure. Black Power is half the Cyborg of the team based on appearance and demeanor alone, but his powers seems to come from that alpha-belt he wears, with which he can punch in various combinations to get different powers -- sort of like a voluntary Hero Dial. This strikes me as making him a little overpowered, but whatever. The Nemo plot thread is resolved fairly quickly, but internal strife (and the death of founding member Bubbles the chimp) take a toll on the team's veterans. Ultimately, this causes leader Cyclone to tender his resignation. This is the real "meat" of the whole issue, Cyclone talking about how stupid and awful he feels; I certainly care more about this than the Great Black Shark's white slavery ring.

Around this point it's revealed that, in case you were wondering, the founding Whiz Kids (and Thunder Girl) are nearing 30, though Thunder Girl's powered form still looks like the idealized version of her old teenage self. Cycolne nominates Sheborg replace him as leader, and after saying his goodbyes (and lamenting the missing Moray), Cyclone takes his leave. On that melodramatic note, the issue ends, but not without promise -- Thunder Girl and Cyclone leave together, though TG remains with the team

It All Started with the Big Bang! Part 16 (Issue #31)

The Knight Watchman is really Big Bang's flagship character, as there are tons of stories starring him. This issue tackles a pretty obvious situation if you're doing a Silver-Age Batman thing: Bat-Mite-induced shenanigans.

I'm not going to pretend like the Knight Watchman "really" dies: he doesn't, it's a trick of some sort. This isn't a spoiler, it's common sense. Besides, why would anything be as it seems when you're dealing with the equivalent of Bat-Mite, Knight-Sprite?

The story opens with Kid Galahad finishing his homework and hearing the call to adventure over the police radio. Some parade balloons came to life and are running amok. He goes on this one solo, as Reid Randall, the Knight Watchman, was at a business meeting at the time. Being giant balloons, he pops them without trouble.

Blah blah -- it's the work of Knight-Sprite, a cartoonish jester with near-limitless power, who likes to mess around with the Dauntless Duo.

He's actually more of a Mxyzptlk type than a Bat-Mite; Bat-Mite was a well-meaning Batman fanboy, whereas Knight-Sprite is pretty mean spirited. For instance, he sends Kid Galahad to another dimension just so he'll stay out of his way. Alone in Dimension X, Kid Galahad braves some native wildlife before meeting up with the Knight Watchman, whom he guesses was also sent there by Knight-Sprite

Woah, did I just hit on a Garden of Eden thing, or am I doing that "reading too much into their relationship" thing people do with Batman and Robin? Galahad is in trouble due to the alien snake from the story splash, and the Knight Watchman dies saving him from it. Specifically his head gets split open under his hood when the snake bucks him against a tree -- a pretty nasty death for, you know, the kind of story this is trying to be.

 I'm no expert on Silver Age issue numbers or covers, but that's a pretty direct reference to a famous Batman cover, with the roles reversed. Anyway, this took a dark turn, huh? Kid Galahad demands Knight-Sprite send him back to the regular world, and this is all reminding me of the TNG episode "Tapestry", when Picard is in the altered present as a crappy science officer and yells at Q about how this wasn't part of the deal.

Knight-Sprite sends Galahad back to the regular world, and Galahad somberly realizes that the Dimension X thing was all real after noticing scratches on his arm from the snake attack. He swears to live up to the Knight Watchman's legacy as a solo 11-13 year old hero.

Almost immediately he sees a crime in progress, with crooks he recognizes hiding out in a warehouse. He busts in to take them out, but since he's outnumbered 4-to-1 and half their size, it doesn't go so well for him. That's when dun dun duuuuun the Knight Watchman arrives on the scene.

After the gangsters are dealt with, and KW and Galahad exchange "What?!"s, Knight-Sprite shows up to set the record straight -- the Watchman in Dimension X was a copy retrieved from Galahad's mind. He didn't say anything about it because it was pretty much identical to the real deal, and thus he figured it wasn't worth mentioning. It's sort of a cute detail, he really didn't understand why he might have been expected to say it wasn't the real Knight Watchman.

Oh, and when they get home, there's a surprise birthday party for Jerry, because I guess it was his birthday all along and nobody mentioned that. Reid converted their basement into a basketball court as a gift, which seems a little ostentatious but I guess he's sort of rich.

Moving on, we've got the stunning origin of Gorilla Cop! That's right, Big Bang even has its own version of Detective freakin' Chimp. While Detective Chimp was a regular chimp granted intelligence by the fountain of youth or something, Gorilla Cop was a regular cop turned into a gorilla by an "evo-ray".

Sam Douglas is a regular beat cop; he's best pals with his old partner Artie and has a swell girlfriend named Kim, whom Artie is secretly hot for. Sam investigates a light in an abandoned warehouse and is captured by Dr. LA Mental, whose "evo-ray" needs to absorb evolutionary energy by devolving people into gorillas in order to evolve someone further.

Sam is turned into a gorilla by the ray, and is about to be put in a drug-induced rage like Mental's other victims when Artie bursts in. Mental flees, leaving Sam in possession of his faculties (apparently the evo-ray doesn't devolve brains, even though Mental's plan hinges on it evolving his own). Sam can't speak, but tries to tell Artie who he is by flashing his gold tooth, which the evo-ray naturally shaped into a simian canine what do you want from me

That's not quite as silly as it sounds -- after all, Artie saw Sam go into the warehouse and never come out.
This story moves along at a blistering pace from here on out -- Sam (who I'm just gonna call Gorilla Cop from now on) sneaks back into the lab that night to see if he can figure out how to change back or something like that. He discovers an unconscious Artie, Mental, and his girlfriend Kim in a cage. It's not really clear why Mental captured Kim -- I guess he figured Gorilla Cop would come back and wanted leverage. He's used the ray to evolve into the super-intelligent, psychic space guy seen above, but Gorilla Cop deftly smashes the ray gun, causing it to backfire on Mental and devolve him into nothing (while dooming himself to life as a gorilla; compare Hummingbird's origin) Oh, and he can talk now, because he tried really hard.

As is often the case with a Silver Age pastiche (and many real Silver Age stories), I sort of have a lot of questions -- Gorilla Cop clearly got promoted, so he's not on the beat anymore, but he's not a detective, so is he the guy behind the desk at booking or the evidence room or something now? Hell, what does this mean for his relationship with Kim, or Artie's relationship with Kim? And I'm almost positive there isn't a second Gorilla Cop story to clear any of that up, too. Wait, am I really clamoring for more of this? Big Bang Comics, the things you do to me...

It all started with the Big Bang! Part 14 (Issue #25)

It's the silver monthiversary at Big Bang Comics, and there's even a cover to that effect.

Isn't this an RTA gathering? The Badge and Trooper are crashing the party and hope nobody notices, I guess. They aren't even in this issue, the stories are Knight Watchman, Thunder Girl, and the Hummingbird.

Ever since he first appeared in Big Bang #22, almost every Knight Watchman story has the Pink Flamingo as its villain. As well it should; I mean, up until then his arch-enemy was probably Grandfather Clock for crying out loud. Of course, I did some skipping around during that Savage Dragon crossover -- don't get it twisted, he has other villains, like Faulty Towers, Mr. Mask, and our old pal the Quizmaster.

Anyway, this issue's plot isn't that much like the splash page (because when is anything?) -- it's more of a classic Flintstones "sudden bonk on the head causes identity amnesia". Instead of thinking himself a famous racecar driver, Jerry "Kid Galahad" Randall simply forgets his name and every personal detail after taking a nasty spill off his bike. He fights off some toughs, who like his fire and want him to come see their boss.

The Pink Flamingo (whose real name turns out to be, are you ready for this, 'Pinkerton Flemming') is basically acting the part of Fagin to these urchins, teaching them to do his dirty work and paying them in nothing but feigned affection. He doesn't recognize Jerry, because shut up you can explain that a million ways. 

Reid Randall, the Knight Watchman, however, looks for his missing nephew, only to see him fleeing the scene of a crime with his new pals. Jerry hangs back and creates a distraction to cover the others' escape, and is treated like a hero when he gets back to the pillow factory. And that's when...

Amnesia is absolutely like this, kids. If your friend isn't acting like himself, head trauma is the way to go. 

After regaining his memory, Jerry helps the Knight Watchman round the kids up as soon as he arrives on the scene. It's never mentioned whether the Knight Watchman actually put together the amnesia thing; I'm betting he thinks Jerry went undercover intentionally, a story that Jerry will go along with because it's obviously much less embarrassing.

Now, I think that's technically battery and 100% unprovoked, but get real, this is the Pink Flamingo. I'm sure arresting officers got a few licks in at Al Capone and John Hinckley, too. If you're wondering what'll happen to Brick and the other street kids, the Knight Watchman promises to find them homes. Everybody wins!

The Thunder Girl story has art that's a little outta whack, I'm not going to bother you with it. Also, it doesn't even have Binana in it, just some generic bug-eyed aliens. 

On to Hummingbird -- the Hummingbird and his pal Edgar the raven are chilling in the forest when they see a strange group of people in the infamous 'Devil's Field' area. They've, uh, been hypnotized by a fairy queen, who wants his help taking her throne back from a mad tyrant.

The Hummingbird seems to buy into all this pretty easily, although I guess the mention of science might have been enough. He hops down a hole to the fairy realm, which is sadly much too small for Edgar, and meets a bunch of pixies on the other side. They turn out to be quite small compared to the Hummingbird's six-inch frame, and I bet it must feel pretty cool to be the huge guy for once.

It's not long before he meets the crazed ruler of fairyworld or whatever, Garlon. While Garlon's goons pose no threat, the man himself is a different story, as he has tons of scientific tricks up his sleeve.

In this case, "anything" includes a noose. Luckily the Hummingbird can shrink, which allows him to escape -- and at pint size he's too small and too fast for Garlon to hit with anything. You know when a big guy can't hit a smaller, faster guy, and he's like "AAUGH STAND STILL"? That's basically what happens; Garlon also whines like a child and says this development isn't fair.

I'm almost positive he really killed that guy. 

Freed from Garlon's mind control, the citizens implore Hummingbird to stay as their new king. He lets them down gently and instead. He notices a statue of Pellinore, the queen who started all this -- apparently she died thousands of years ago. He doesn't mention meeting her because he doesn't want to look weird, and upon returning to our world, can't find any evidence that this adventure actually happened.

That's a cute ending. I like how the whole 'woah these fairies use science, bro, far out' thing gets pointed out, sort of. I have to say I'm kind of into the Hummingbird; I love Jeff Weigel's art on his stories, especially.

It All Started with the Big Bang! Part 13 (Issue #22)

This is a special issue to me because it's the first Big Bang I ever saw. I didn't read it, I just saw an ad for it in Previews magazine. I was sort of like 11 or 8 or somewhere around there at the time, I doubt I really got the 'joke', but it interested me nonetheless.

I don't recall if this is the debut of the Knight Watchman's archenemy, the Pink Flamingo, but it's a great showcase of the character. Essentially the Pink Flamingo is a combination of the Joker and the Penguin -- a gaunt, manic, and flamboyant man obsessed with birds. I'm also reminded of Jack A'Dandy, the dapper Joker-alike Professor Night fought in Alan Moore's Supreme. I know Grant Morrison created a Batman villain called the Flamingo, and being that he gave Ultiman a cameo in Final Crisis I almost think that's an intentional reference.

The story in earnest begins with the Pink Flamingo tinkering with a huge contraption, putting the finishing touches on his latest evil plan. He's created a machine that extracts the 'essence' of an animal, which a human can then drink to gain attributes of that animal. 

I'm almost getting tired of these little winks to the characters' inspirations. That's not even the last one in this story, either. Still, at least it's not "Jordan Stuart". Anyway, the Flamingo starts his airborne crimewave by stealing a priceless bird statue from a charity auction that Reid and Jerry Randall happen to be attending.

In a move that surprised me, the Randalls don't have their costumes on them or anything and simply resolve to get him next time. Alas, 'tis not to be, as he constantly evades capture with his new flying powers. And (no-prize attempt) I imagine cops aren't shooting at him for fear of what will happen to the precious stuff he's carrying when he drops it. 

They end up tracking down his hideout and lying in wait for him, drinking the essences of a stray cat and a sparrow to fight fire with fire and match the Flamingo's new animal powers.

The machine is destroyed in the battle, and an enraged Pink Flamingo commands his birds to attack. only they just fly away (except the ostrich and penguin I guess). Idiot, only alien hummingbird-man suits allow you to talk to and command birds. Knowing when he's beat, he tries to follow suit, only for sparrow-powered Kid Galahad to intercept him, knocking him out cold mid-air with a wing punch. 

Luckily, it appears the effects of animal essence simply wear off over time.

Probably one of my favorite Big Bang stories like ever. It's a perfect 50s Dick Sprang Batman story, not a hair out of place in recreating the comics of that era.

After the Knight Watchman story, there's one starring the Dimensioneer. Who's the Dimensioneer? He's got the power to warp space, which he uses to teleport and not much else. He's not really based on any one character, but his stories are very much in the style of 70s Marvel fare. I don't like him that much, gonna skip it. It's not really 'Big Bang' enough, by my estimate. And, no offense, but I'm like the only person who cares about that.

An editor's note mentions that the missing story from BB #18 is still missing, but they're offering up an alternate take on Dragon's run-in with the Badge (and BADGE) from #14 to compensate. The story follows the same beats, but uses a different art style and has different dialogue. Art's a little shakier and there's character stuff with BADGE's elites that I don't think had a place in the "Dragon lost in time" story, but it's still cool to see.

BADGE agents clearly receive advanced training for quips and consternation.

We learn a little more about Trooper, Bobby, and BADGE here; the director and his top field agent are really Rick and Roberta (hence "Bobby") Ryan, and they think Dragon may be a rogue government clone, or "Accidental".

And Rick/Trooper seems to have some connection to the Badge, whom we all know is a robot from the events of #14. I don't really get it. Anyway, as before Bobby goes after Dragon and gets creamed, only for backup to arrive in the form of the Badge himself.

That's the same dialogue from the Badge reveal panel in #14, with added Dragon thought bubbles. Seeing the same scene from a different angle is kind of giving me Metal Men flashbacks. And just like before the Time Being steals the Infinity Orb, causing Dragon and the Badge to give chase to the end of time. The... well, not the end, not even of this story, but that's where it stops. Eh, it was alright, not a winner like the Knight Watchman story

It all started with the Big Bang! Part 9 (Issue #12)

Skipping more issues BECAUSE I CAN. Also, I kind of wanted to get to this, the start of a Savage Dragon crossover, right away. I'm no massive fan of Dragon, I've read little of his comic, but I watched the cartoon as a kid, I enjoy what I've read of it, and I think I understand Dragon's character more or less.

Similar to the Knights of Justice origin issue, this one comes with a pre-packaged gimmick, and as such it's a really goddamn amazing comic. Basically, Dragon warps back and forth between various eras, and his encounters in those eras are based on the comics that were around at the time. Each story has its own art style, too.

The story gets underway with a secret meeting of the Society of Evil Minds, the equivalent of the Monster Society of Evil. Its members include Hy Q. Binana, Cortex, the Wicked Worm (who survived his bisection in BB #1 and is now, uh, two worms), and two new guys: Baron Brain and Dr. Nirvana, Mighty Man's archenemy. The art here is really emphasizing the Sivana angle for not just Binana and Nirvana, but also Cortex

So this is taking place on Earth A, with Binana still able to travel between the worlds at his leisure. Although I guess this takes place before the Criss-Cross Crisis storyline. Of course, I have to wonder why he would bother at all if their plan couldn't affect Thunder Girl. Anyway, the Wicked Worms ask if this is about some stock market scam, and while cursing himself for missing that obvious idea, Binana says he's after more than money -- he wants to take the strongest, nastiest creatures from the future and use them to crush their heroic foils. And for starters, Officer Dragon looks like just the type. Looks like, of course.

To that end, Knight Watchman baddie Grandfather Clock has devised, uh, something like a time machine, sort of. See, this is why they need a big monster for the mission; the only thing Grandfather Clock could find that could produce the energy to break the time barrier was a uranium bomb, albeit one that can explode again and again. With the remote control, the Society of Evil Minds can send him to any time they like. 

As it turns out, Dragon is fighting Mighty Man because MM is possessed by the Wicked Worm (who is actually thousands of worms at  this point), and the Wicked Worm deliberately lured Dragon to a certain location to get him to jump on the time bomb.

Yeesh, is Dragon hairy. You know he's not a reptile? Erik Larsen told me on twitter so you know it's true. anyway, 1963 Mighty Man shows up to blow the SoEM's good time, and Dragon drops a bomb on them when they order him to do their dirty work: Mighty Man is a good friend of his, he's a police officer, and they're all under arrest. These guys are so racist, just because he's green he's the bad guy. He also explains why he was fighting Mighty Man in the future, because of course that came up.

In a panic, Binana splits for Earth B, while Grandfather Clock hits the remote to send Dragon back to his own time. The remote is broken in the explosion, meaning his time jumps are random from here on. Oh, man, this is the best Quantum Leap/Savage Dragon crossover since that fanfic I wrote.

Dragon arrives, seemingly, just a few years later, where the time bomb explosion chips away part of the "Coolidge Dam", a possible disaster that is naturally responded to by the Round Table of America.

Some items of note: Hummingbird, Mr. Martian, and Mike Merlin all put in their first appearances in this story. Hummingbird is sort of Hawkman and kind of the Atom; Mike Merlin is Snapper Carr with a bit of Zatanna (and after a magic sex change, full Zatanna as Ms. Merlin); and Mr. Martian is, duh, the Martian Manhunter. Anyway, the RTA fixes the dam up like new, and I discover that I hate Mike Merlin. Seriously, Snapper Carr is awesome, this guy is insufferable, even with amazing magic powers.

Dragon is saved by the Atomic Sub, and attacks Mr. Martian as soon as he comes to. The RTA has Mr. Martian's back, but Dragon mentions a Martian invasion in 1996, which I guess is a reference to the movie Mars Attacks! and the comics Image published that tied into it. It turns out htis is '65, so shortly before the Atomic Sub's death, by the way. Dragon tells his story, and the Knight Watchman picks up on Grandfather Clock's involvement immediately, but the bomb goes off seconds later.

Dragon lands in a Golden Age Dr. Weird story, where his explosion causes a house fire. Weird saves the people trapped inside, and goes to fight Dragon, but ends up hearing the guy out.

Dragon explains his predicament, and Weird can mystically tell he's being for real. Luckily, time travel is something he's familiar with; he was a scientist from the future who came back to the past and was killed, and whose spirit can't move on because he hasn't been born yet and thus shouldn't exist. Weird tries to set the time bomb to send Dragon to talk to his mentor, but when it blows, he ends up a little too far in the future.

Dragon pops in just as tryouts start, but Pantheon founders Jupiter Boy, Gravity Girl, and Clone Boy think he's one of the hopefuls and don't realize he needs help. Clone Boy's initially kind of interested in the explosive powers of this "Bomb Boy", but they don't allow people without inborn powers, and he's way too old anyway. 

Next it's 1962, at Midway City's football stadium, where the Midway Monsters are playing the Empire City Titans for the championship. Among the spectators: Reid and Jerry Randall, the Knight Watchman and Kid Galahad. A game winning field goal is shot out of the air by Grandfather Clock, who runs off with the championship trophy and prize money.

The Knight Watchman and Kid Galahad foil him, blah blah, and Dragon bursts into the picture. He yells at Grandfather Clock, who has no idea who he is or what he's talking about since this is before the Society of Evil Minds meeting. The 'misunderstanding' worsens until it's boom-boom time once more.

Yeah, it's the future. Er, the old future, at least; sometime in the 80s. An Ultiman robot brings Dragon to meet an aged, retired, powerless Chris Kelly. The robots do all the work these days, dispatched by Chris from his Command Center to deal with crises. Oh, and he's married and has a kid, and his wife is totally not Lori Lake. Is that why he moved out of the Secret Citadel, because his family couldn't live in a volcano? I just hope he still has his trophies. Anyway, Dragon asks if he can help him out, but Chris says he already has; Dragon made a jump to the 70s and there was some business with Venus that ended with the RTA getting him back to his own time. And, you know, kaboom, he's gone.

Now he's in a Brave and the Bold story. Or, uh, "Free and the Brave"; obviously the 70s, but not quite when the RTA has figured out how to help him. And this story is obviously to be continued in a later issue, as we're running out of pages pretty quick. You know, I once had a conversation on deviantArt with artist Shawn van Briesen about his work on this story, and in particular the Aparo aping.

The Knight Watchman and Dr. Weird are going to break into Grandfather Clock's place to find a remote for the time bomb. When they get there they find nothing... except for two Grandfather Clocks! He's since perfected the time bomb travel thing, you see, and even has the remotes. Both are immobilized by shock and considering how old and fat they are, probably also having heart attacks.

Weird uses one of the remotes to send the traveling Clock back whenever he came from, and tries to do the same to Dragon, who realizes this can't be the end because he hasn't met Venus yet. Throughout this whole story, Dragon's been a real cut-up, commenting sardonically about everything that happens as if he's resigned to the fate of Sam Beckett-but-not-really. This one ends with a classic: "THE END? Only time will tell!"