Big Bang Presents: The Whiz Kids

After the end of the monthly Big Bang title, Big Bang characters continued to appear in a series of one-shots. There were only a handful of these: two each starring Ultiman and the Round Table of America, one Summer Special featuring the Knights of Justice, and this right here, the Whiz Kids. The Whiz Kids, as you might remember, are the Big Bang equivalent of the Teen Titans, and this issue has stories featuring both an Original-Titans style story and a New-Teen-Titans style one.

Starting with the Titans Classic, the Whiz Kids are chilling at their swingin' pad. The writing is intentionally hokey, with the Whiz Kids mostly talking in song lyrics. The art is shaky, and this is clearly not intentional, sad to say.

Anyway, the Whiz Kids head to Florida to Moray's beach house on her invitation, with Moray having retired to attend school full-time. She also has an asshole boyfriend that Cyclone doesn't get along with, a former Navy SEAL and underwater demolitions expert called the Aquamarine. Oh and there's been a rash of shark attacks featuring a huge black shark.

Cyclone survives an encounter with the beast, and the Whiz Kids soon divine that it's actually a robot that looks like a shark. Moreover, it doesn't eat people, it takes them to an underwater plantation where they slave away under the tyranny of a creep called the Great Black Shark. It's a Black Manta thing, and they really go the whole hog here with that theme.

I don't think Manta was ever a black supremacist, at least not to this degree, but let's all agree that enslaving whites isn't the way to make the world better for black people. GBS is one of very few black characters in all of Big Bang, incidentally, but that's a byproduct of BB's focus on adapting the notoriously whitebread Silver Age. Anyway, the action-packed conclusion is a little muddled and clumsily-excecuted, but they trick the GBS into blowing up his own underwater city and get all the prisoners out by way of the mechanical sharks. Moving on...

Above are the new Whiz Kids, or as the team would come to be known with their membership, the Whizzards (I know, awful). In this story, drawn by none other than Chris Samnee (!), the Whizzards face down a threat from Captain Nemo. This guy's backstory is boring enough to not bother you with, but as minor as his role in the story is I think he's one of the more interesting parts.

Gargoyla, Sheborg, Black Power, and (not pictured) Hot Pink join Cyclone in foiling his evil plot. Totem is somewhere else for all this. We get a look at these new characters, their powers, their personalities. They're all basically what you'd expect - Gargoyla is a shrinking violet, Hot Pink is a flighty showoff, Sheborg is cold and rational, etc. 

Yeah, "pep pills", sure. Black Power is half the Cyborg of the team based on appearance and demeanor alone, but his powers seems to come from that alpha-belt he wears, with which he can punch in various combinations to get different powers -- sort of like a voluntary Hero Dial. This strikes me as making him a little overpowered, but whatever. The Nemo plot thread is resolved fairly quickly, but internal strife (and the death of founding member Bubbles the chimp) take a toll on the team's veterans. Ultimately, this causes leader Cyclone to tender his resignation. This is the real "meat" of the whole issue, Cyclone talking about how stupid and awful he feels; I certainly care more about this than the Great Black Shark's white slavery ring.

Around this point it's revealed that, in case you were wondering, the founding Whiz Kids (and Thunder Girl) are nearing 30, though Thunder Girl's powered form still looks like the idealized version of her old teenage self. Cycolne nominates Sheborg replace him as leader, and after saying his goodbyes (and lamenting the missing Moray), Cyclone takes his leave. On that melodramatic note, the issue ends, but not without promise -- Thunder Girl and Cyclone leave together, though TG remains with the team

It all started with the Big Bang! Part 17! (issue #33)

For the first time in what seems like forever, this issue is a Round Table of America joint. We haven't seen them in a team context since the Savage Dragon met them at the Coolidge Dam. This also means the lesser RTA members, the ones who don't rate solo adventures, get to take center stage however briefly.

Oh, and speaking of, after that we have the missing story from Big Bang #18, featuring the Whiz Kids (who I don't remember being mentioned in the text summary in BB #18, but whatever). Speaking of, that's another group we haven't seen in a while.

The RTA's changed since we last saw them -- the Atomic Sub is dead by this point, for one thing. Robo Hood, the loose equivalent of the Green Arrow, is on the squad. Oh, and probably the most striking difference: Mike Merlin, the annoying Snapper Carr counterpart who also has magic powers, has since been transformed into Miss Merlin, who acts as a more direct Zatanna stand-in.

Jon Cosmos is basically Adam Strange, though his costume makes him look like a forgotten Legionnaire. The story doesn't pull any punches -- the stakes are laid out right on the first page. Jon Cosmos contacts the Round Table of America to stop the Gas Giants of Jupiter before they destroy Planet Omega. Well, he actually home-invades their headquarters in person, not even bothering to call ahead. 

Other than Robo-Hood and the Hummingbird, who had guard duty, the rest of the RTA had to drop whatever they were doing to answer the call to the Hall of Heroes.  Then Jon Cosmos' Matter Transporter sends them to Planet Omega... except for one.

Miss Merlin proves to be the Rudolph of the RTA -- she's excluded from the adventure for a lame reason, and left at HQ to cry herself to sleep instead. She's not even one of the floating heads on the splash page above. The Knight Watchman also seemed a little unnerved by her, and isn't used to calling her "Miss Merlin" instead of "Mike". You know, she took the time out of her day to show up for this mission, and then you exclude her?

I don't know, something tells me this isn't an isolated incident and that the RTA (or at least the Knight Watchman, the speaker in the above panel) makes a habit of marginalizing Miss Merlin. That's a fairly dark note for a space adventure to start on, isn't it? And I don't even know what to make of it, all I got from that scene is "Wow, the Knight Watchman is an asshole."

Functionally, this turns out to be mostly a Jon Cosmos/Robo Hood/Mr. Martian story, as they're the ones who either set the plot in motion or directly resolve it. Just as well, since other than Miss Merlin they're the only RTA members without solo adventures. They have to shine sometime, after all.

The RTA splits up to combat one Gas Giant each, as the big guys lay siege to several key locations for Planet Omega, including a solar power plant and an air purifier. This place only has one of each of those? Must be a small planet.

Gas Giants can turn people into gas, as they did with the Hummingbird here and Jon Cosmos' wife Princess Odyri prior to the beginning of the comic. I dig Hummingbird and all, but I'm not exactly surprised that he didn't have a lot to offer in this situation. Ultiman himself falls prey to the Gas Giants' gas transformation; he and Hummingbird are brought to safety before they dissipate, though. Only the Jon Cosmos/Robo-Hood team succeeds in vanquishing the Gas Giant they set out to defeat, courtesy of a laser shot its armor. Robo-Hood is a real wisecracker in the Spider-Man mold, by the way, nothing at all like your typical robot hero.

Mr. Martian and the Knight Watchman follow electroscope readings to a hidden spaceship, where the Knight Watchman is knocked out cold by its owner, infamous space villain Black Corona.

Black Corona seems vaguely like Brainiac but by my estimate just generally represents your typical evil space guy. Anyway, Mr. Martian is subjected to an utterly textbook "we're not so different", "we could rule together" speech, based on the logic that he owes nothing to the people of Planet Omega. Black Corona's really accommodating, and gives him a few hours to think it over. Oh, and Corona also reveals his plan to hurl Planet Omega into the sun. Mr. Martian communicates the details of the plan to the rest of the RTA, who put the kibosh on it pretty quickly before infiltrating the ship and bringing Corona down.

 In the aftermath, the Gas Giants show up again, this time peacefully. Turns out Black Corona had enslaved them, encasing their true gaseous forms in huge armored bodies and using their attacks to distract the people of Omega from his real plan. They reverse the "turned into gas" process on those afflicted (well, on the three named characters known to have been afflicted). Faced with the knowledge that they'll never reach Jupiter without being stuck in these forms forever (not really explained why), they remove the armor and dissipate into the atmosphere. Mr. Martian seems oddly happy about the whole thing and delivers a closing monologue, like he's Captain Picard or something.

The long-promised missing story from BB #18, eeeh, would probably be better in that context. Without the novelty of the Dragon crossover's gimmick (shifting art styles reflecting the time period) it's a little stale, though the Perez imitation is pretty great.

The Whiz Kids themselves don't do much in this story, sadly, but I'm fairly sure this is the team from the Whiz Kids one-shot and that the 'extra' Non-Galahad/Cyclone/Thunder Girl members get all the appropriate backstory and focus in that one. Anyway, this leads into a huge Everybody vs the Time Being fight.

In the melee Dragon recognizes the Earth-B Blitz from a previous encounter, and notes that there are two of him engaged in the battle. Since this whole thing started when a guy met himself, Dragon thinks it's in everyone's best interest for the Blitz to help him finish the Time Being off by taking him back to where it all began -- which is accomplished via the Cosmic Treadmill, duh.

...which is where the story from Big Bang #18 picks up. I'm not gonna lie to you, this segment was not worth the wait, as visually impressive as the two-page spread of the fight against the Time Being is. Being that this is Big Band #33, there's only one more regular issue of note (#35 is a crossover with 1963, brought to you by none of the normal Big Bang writers or artists) before the one-shots and Big Bang Presents.

It all started with the Big Bang! Part 7 (Issue #6)

This is the last color issue of the Image run; almost everything Big Bang self-published after leaving Image is in color. I'm not too happy about that, since obviously colors are way better than no color in Silver Age Superhero fare. Of course, no colors just makes it look that much more like a Showcase collection or something.

Also of note: this is one of the only Big Bang comics to feature just one story. If anything I'm reminded of the Metal Men, as this is an "amazing three-part novel" or "novel-length adventure" that would easily be a huge three-month, 20-title crossover today.

So, okay, this is technically a reprint of a story from the original Caliber Comics run, but whatever. Cover art by Curt Swan, though. I don't see why Golden Age Ultiman doesn't merit a credit on the Knights of Justice side of the cover, or where the Silver Age Knight Watchman is, though.

The Silver Age Beacon first appeared in this story, but the Human Sub had his origin story in Big Bang Vol. 1 #2. Basically, he's Dr. Noah Talbot, an aged scientist who designed a robotic full-body prosthesis that he was forced to transfer his own mind into as he suffered a heart attack. The robot body is powered by "hydro-glycerin" and needs to be submerged in water at least once an hour. His sidekicks are his granddaughter Mora, alias the Moray, and Bubbles, an amphibious chimp with hydro-glycerin for blood.

I'm guessing Swan's pencils for the cover were finished before they decided to change him to the Atomic Sub. Or even before they did the first Human Sub story; the first page has Swan's original art, with a totally different looking Human Sub. Cyclone's also an all-new character, but there's not a lot to say (or know) about him until the Whiz Kids get their own stories.

And see, look, Golden Age Knight Watchman isn't even in this, jeez. 

The story kicks off with the Blitz running late to an appointment at Round Table of America HQ. Apparently he lives in the Southwestern US, because that's where he's coming from. HQ is at "Capitol City" on the East Coast. So he really kicks it into high gear to make it in time, but once he gets through the door of the Hall of Heroes, he sees something so shocking he alerts the rest of the RTA for help. But when help arrives, the Blitz isn't there -- at least, not their Blitz!

As you can no doubt imagine, a fight breaks out, and oddly enough the Atomic Sub seems the most eager to teach the 'phony' Blitz a lesson. Yeesh, take it easy, old timer. Incidentally, the Beacon's powers appear to be similar to her Golden Age counterpart's; that thing in her hand gives off light in different colors, each with its own effect. Kudos for creativity, I think most people would have just given their ersatz Lantern regular construct powers.

The Blitz runs rings around the RTA members, but Ultiman manages to clock him one and knock him out. Almost immediately, Dr. Weird, the Spectre analogue, pops in to say he knows where the "real" Blitz is. From the other heroes' reactions, it looks like they've never met Weird before. 

Naturally, the Silver Age Blitz is at the Hall of Heroes on another Earth, where he's getting manhandled by the Knights of Justice. 

That blast knocks the Blitz right out, as well it should, but as before, Dr. Weird appears before the Knights of Justice. I'm referring to both groups as though they're the full team, but come on, these are abbreviated versions of the KoJ and RTA. 

It turns out Dr. Weird is talking to both groups at the same time, with each group not even knowing the other figures into it (except the Blitzes, I guess). The Beacon says that Dr. Weird is telling the truth, according to his power crystal; I guess he's the truth-detector because he's the only one with any super-equipment akin to WW's lasso. 

Dr. Weird exposits that there are two Earths, which split off from each other in the early 20th century: Earth-A, where it's 1965, and Earth-B, where it's 20 years earlier. He also makes note of the two Blitzes, two Beacons, etc., without really explaining what causes that. So it turns out someone opened a portal that the Blitzes accidentally traveled through, and if it isn't closed soon, both worlds are doomed. Weird has it stabilized for the moment, but can't keep it up much longer, and tells of machines on each Earth that are widening the portal. Both Ultimen independently decide to go give Weird a hand.

Meanwhile, apparently the other members of both teams (and the displaced Blitzes) know where to go to find their machine. I'm gonna go for the No-Prize and say Weird gave them the information telepathically. The KoJ arrive in Paris, where a huge robot gorilla and a crazy looking machine are on top of the Eiffel Tower. The Blitz rushes at the robo-ape, but disappears after it swats him away. While Venus and Thunder Girl distract the robot, the Beacon uses his red force beam to amplify his strength so as to destroy the machine. He does this by simply punching it, causing it to explode. When the dust settles, only Thunder Girl is conscious, and the Beacon is missing.

The RTA head for the Statue of Liberty's torch, which houses their world's portal machine thing. The Beacon is the first to notice it, and I'm having flashbacks to #4, when the Golden Age Beacon fought guys on Liberty's torch.

The Blitz runs afoul of another robot gorilla, identical to the one seen a second ago, and disappears after is blasts him with a ray. The Beacon tosses it into the water with her yellow levitation beam, and the Atomic Sub swims toward it to finish the job. Suddenly, the Beacon vanishes into thin air herself!

It turns out that the Blitzes and Beacons were simply pulled away by Dr. Weird, who needs more power to keep the rift stable. That this happened in conjunction with their fighting the robo-apes appears to be a simple coincidence. The Beacons join hands with their respective Blitzes, and discover that giving their energy to Dr. Weird hurts like crap. The Beacons are forced to sap power from distant stars in order to provide enough for Weird to go on. 

Meanwhile, a mysterious cloaked figure supercharges the Earth A robo-ape, which revives, knocks out the Atomic Sub, and grabs the machine before the Knight Watchman can take care of it. The Knight Watchman decides to call in reinforcements in the form of the Whiz Kids, who find the mystery baddie's lair on Ellis Island easily enough, but run into trouble fighting the robo-ape... until Bubbles starts messing around

After this odd scene, the robo-ape comes to its senses and knocks Bubbles into Kid Galahad, who accidentally crashes into the machine, sending both of them... somewhere when it explodes. That "somewhere" was Earth B, where they're met by Venus and Thunder Girl. Thunder Girl sees Bubbles' costume and realizes who's behind all this, and resolves to go to Earth A via the still-intact device in order to stop them.

Meanwhile, on Earth A, the big bad guy is holding both worlds hostage with the device, which is really more of a bomb and seems to be okay after colliding with Kid Galahad and Bubbles. At some point the Knight Watchman and Atomic Sub showed up.

Suddenly, Thunder Girl bursts through a small explosion, having traveled via the device as mentioned previously. She grabs the villain, revealing him to be her archenemy Dr. Binana, the talking chimp. Binana says he created the portal to plunder both worlds, but is willing to settle for destroying them both! After Binana activates the bomb, which is of course on a timer, the Atomic Sub grabs it, flies over the sea with his jetpack, and tries to bury it as far underwater as he can. Shortly after he leaves, the Knight Watchman gets word from Kid Galahad that they've disarmed the bomb on their end. This eliminates the threat to both worlds, as without the second bomb this is just any old bomb.

However, the Atomic Sub couldn't get far enough away from the explosion in time, and died trying to save two worlds. Everyone is automatically returned to their home Earth... except for Thunder Girl, who remains on Earth A. Dr. Weird says this has to do with her power source and origin, as she's a mystical being of two souls and whatever. We end on a somber note, with funeral proceedings dedicated to the Atomic Sub -- even on Earth B, which he'd never set foot on.