What the Hell is up with Forever Evil #5?

Man, I am really not into David Finch, I don't think I've mentioned that, but jeez, man. Anyway, last issue ended with Sinestro showing up and menacing Power Ring. Let's see what's up with that plot thread.

And, see, the yellow border serves as an ironic statement about how fearful he is, when he's running from the leader of the Lantern corps that is powered by fear! I feel sorry for anyone who actually finds this clever, and yes this includes Geoff Johns himself. Power Ring's pitiful retreat from Sinestro has some boring Luthor narration over it, when we cut back to Luthor and his Legion of Doom (along with Batman and Catwoman) staring down a Syndicate hit squad led by Deathstroke.

A fight breaks out, duh, and Luthor spends a lot of time courting Batman's favor for some reason, as if having Batman as his enemy right now would mean anything when he's got friends like Black Adam and Bizarro. Then we spend a little more tine with Sinestro/Power Ring, for character bullcrap with Power Ring's ring insulting him and ordering him around. 

Luthor is so sweet on Batman right now that I'm sure thousands on tumblr are trying to reconcile it with their obvious shared lust for Superman. Another sudden cut to the Sinestro/PR fight, which seems to be pretty back-and-forth so far...

I'm still not sure I get why Sinestro is even here -- is it just because of the connection to Hal Jordan, does he care about Hal that much? Is Hal such a bewitching personality that his greatest enemy's every thought is devoted to him? I just remembered who is writing this comic, so probably. Back at the Luthor plot thread, Deathstroke's hit squad is taken care of one by one, until Luthor manages to convince Deathstroke to turn on the Syndicate and save Batman.

Oh, so I guess he couldn't actually handle Copperhead? I can't really say I buy Batman almost getting killed by a C-Lister like that. Hell, Copperhead clearly had him on the ropes and would have finished him off without Deathstroke's intervention. I'm all for a vulnerable Batman, but generally speaking I'd say he actually should be able to take out Copperhead single-handedly.

Also, Geoff, copperheads are venomous snakes, they don't constrict their prey, they just bite it. Although I guess bats don't exactly throw boomerangs, so maybe I'm nitpicking. Also note that Copperhead can't help but lovingly refer to Luthor's brains as "big" - nice character shilling there, Johns.

Anyway, the scene cuts back to Sinestro vs Power Ring. The fight doesn't last much longer, as Sinestro gets as tired of Power Ring as I am.

Geoff Johns really did the de-arm-ifying spot again. Power Ring's ring reports irreparable damage and flies off in search of a new host, evidently unaware that he has a spare arm handy. Sinestro finishes him off, but he dies happy because the asshole ring is finally gone oh boo hoo. Sinestro joins back up with the main Legion of Doom and they start talking truce with Batman. Bats is cowed by all the big-league powerful villains, but seems to convince them to go along with his "Rescue Dick Grayson" plan.

Meanwhile, the Crime Syndicate is at the Batcave, rooting through Batman's stuff. Apparently Ultraman was interested in Batman's kryptonite ring, which is, according to Owlman, the last remaining Kryptonite on the planet. I really think removing Superman's weakness from existence is a bad idea in a lot of ways, especially in a narrative sense. It turns out the Syndicate had no idea Batman was still alive, so they actually believe/d that they killed the Justice League. Then they get word of Power Ring's death, and then...

Yes, he really did the Fleischer Superman thing again. The interesting thing in the sky is some kind of whatever that killed their own reality BUM BUM BUUUUUM

There's not a lot to like about this comic, at least not in my opinion. I find all the characters obnoxious at best. The writing, the plotting, is uneven and even schizophrenic in places. I'm just a regular consumer, too, I'm not an expert and this is the vibe I'm getting:"Dull and idiotic". 

Big Bang Presents: The Whiz Kids

After the end of the monthly Big Bang title, Big Bang characters continued to appear in a series of one-shots. There were only a handful of these: two each starring Ultiman and the Round Table of America, one Summer Special featuring the Knights of Justice, and this right here, the Whiz Kids. The Whiz Kids, as you might remember, are the Big Bang equivalent of the Teen Titans, and this issue has stories featuring both an Original-Titans style story and a New-Teen-Titans style one.

Starting with the Titans Classic, the Whiz Kids are chilling at their swingin' pad. The writing is intentionally hokey, with the Whiz Kids mostly talking in song lyrics. The art is shaky, and this is clearly not intentional, sad to say.

Anyway, the Whiz Kids head to Florida to Moray's beach house on her invitation, with Moray having retired to attend school full-time. She also has an asshole boyfriend that Cyclone doesn't get along with, a former Navy SEAL and underwater demolitions expert called the Aquamarine. Oh and there's been a rash of shark attacks featuring a huge black shark.

Cyclone survives an encounter with the beast, and the Whiz Kids soon divine that it's actually a robot that looks like a shark. Moreover, it doesn't eat people, it takes them to an underwater plantation where they slave away under the tyranny of a creep called the Great Black Shark. It's a Black Manta thing, and they really go the whole hog here with that theme.

I don't think Manta was ever a black supremacist, at least not to this degree, but let's all agree that enslaving whites isn't the way to make the world better for black people. GBS is one of very few black characters in all of Big Bang, incidentally, but that's a byproduct of BB's focus on adapting the notoriously whitebread Silver Age. Anyway, the action-packed conclusion is a little muddled and clumsily-excecuted, but they trick the GBS into blowing up his own underwater city and get all the prisoners out by way of the mechanical sharks. Moving on...

Above are the new Whiz Kids, or as the team would come to be known with their membership, the Whizzards (I know, awful). In this story, drawn by none other than Chris Samnee (!), the Whizzards face down a threat from Captain Nemo. This guy's backstory is boring enough to not bother you with, but as minor as his role in the story is I think he's one of the more interesting parts.

Gargoyla, Sheborg, Black Power, and (not pictured) Hot Pink join Cyclone in foiling his evil plot. Totem is somewhere else for all this. We get a look at these new characters, their powers, their personalities. They're all basically what you'd expect - Gargoyla is a shrinking violet, Hot Pink is a flighty showoff, Sheborg is cold and rational, etc. 

Yeah, "pep pills", sure. Black Power is half the Cyborg of the team based on appearance and demeanor alone, but his powers seems to come from that alpha-belt he wears, with which he can punch in various combinations to get different powers -- sort of like a voluntary Hero Dial. This strikes me as making him a little overpowered, but whatever. The Nemo plot thread is resolved fairly quickly, but internal strife (and the death of founding member Bubbles the chimp) take a toll on the team's veterans. Ultimately, this causes leader Cyclone to tender his resignation. This is the real "meat" of the whole issue, Cyclone talking about how stupid and awful he feels; I certainly care more about this than the Great Black Shark's white slavery ring.

Around this point it's revealed that, in case you were wondering, the founding Whiz Kids (and Thunder Girl) are nearing 30, though Thunder Girl's powered form still looks like the idealized version of her old teenage self. Cycolne nominates Sheborg replace him as leader, and after saying his goodbyes (and lamenting the missing Moray), Cyclone takes his leave. On that melodramatic note, the issue ends, but not without promise -- Thunder Girl and Cyclone leave together, though TG remains with the team

The Senses-Shattering Saga of the Metal Men! Special Edition -- Justice League #28

I figured this would be a great way to get back into the Metal Men groove -- with the first New 52 appearance of the team. Being a Geoff Johns joint, I'm going to try to rein in any inherent negative bias and take a look at this in the most impartial way possible.

The story opens during Forever Evil; Cyborg is consulting Dr. Will Magnus about bringing the Metal Men in to fight the Syndicate and save humanity. Doc isn't sure about this plan, and a flashback to six months ago tells us why...

In some military complex, a general and the Secretary of Defense are picking on the misanthropic agoraphobe Doc, a twentysomething super genius who hates human contact and thinks robots are cool because they're so logical and obedient. He refuses to talk to them or let them into his lab because this is the start of his character arc and that means he has no redeeming qualities yet.

Doc goes about his business, finally ready to put the finishing touches on his Metal Men. He dips the responsometers he developed into vats of pure metals, and what comes out is... surprisingly emotional and full of personality.

The Metal Men are basically the exact same characters they've always been, except for tweaks to Platinum (getting to that in a minute) and Gold. Gold, who I think we can all agree was a rather flat character before, is here characterized as narcissistic and uber-confident. He gave himself hair, for crying out loud. His status as the leader is justified by having him appoint himself to the position, reasoning that he should be in charge because gold is obviously the best metal. Not 100% sold on this, but I don't hate it. Anyway, the rest are very much recognizable -- Tin stammers, Lead is dim and speaks haltingly, etc.

They even do the "talking about the properties of their metal" thing from their earliest appearances. Oh, and I give special mention to Iron, whose personality is the same as ever but comes on a lot stronger

That left panel was like 3/4 of the page before I cut it down, practially a full body shot, just in case you couldn't tell what she was getting at. Two awesome things about the new Platinum: 1. She clearly likes Doc but isn't a goddamn lunatic about it or anything 2. She's called "Platinum". I always hated the nickname "Tina", I mean really. Doc is baffled by all the emotions, unique personalities, and distinct physical appearances the Metal Men exhibit -- this wasn't part of the plan at all. He eventually lashes out and gives us an old-Doc chestnut: "You're robots, you can't feel anything!"

Things go downhill from there; Doc quickly reconciles with the Metal Men but his military employers bust in and demand he fork them over. When it's clear that the military wants to use them as assassins instead of rescue workers, they bust a move and get out of there, only to resurface in Doc's apartment. And then Chemo shows up.

As Do says, Chemo was created with a stolen prototype responsometer. It's not clear who was behind this, but they clearly knew about Doc's work so it was likely someone at the military compound. The Metal Men burst into action immediately, focusing their efforts solely on clearing the area of civilians before anything else. Ultimately, they rely on a Metal Men classic strategy -- a suicide attack -- to take care of the menace.

Doc was touched by the selflessness of their actions - they saved a lot of people from Chemo without ever considering their own safety, and gave their lives to bring an end to Chemo's rampage. In the present, Cyborg pushes Doc about his reasons for not wanting to bring them back -- in the brief time he'd known the Metal Men, Doc had come to care about them, and he isn't willing to lose them again.

I think that's pretty cool; old Doc usually didn't think much of popping everybody into the Metal Recovery Chamber, though the Metal Men themselves tended to act as though every death was final. Anyway, Cyborg manages to convince him to help out because it's what the Metal Men would want.

All told, I'm very happy with the New 52 incarnation of the Metal Men. They're all essentially the exact same characters (except Gold, who let's face it didn't have much of a character in the first place), they do the same things, act the same way, and have the same relationships with one another. The new Doc grated on me at first because I thought he'd stay the misanthropic asshole he was at the start, but we ended up with a version of Doc who thinks of the Metal Men as his only friends and family, who cried when they sacrificed themselves to stop Chemo. In a lot of ways I think it improves on the group as previously depicted -- Platinum seems interested in Doc but is absolutely not a weirdo about it, for instance, and while I admit I'm not crazy about Gold the preening narcissist it's better than the dull "standard sci-fi hero" personality he had before.

I could go on forever -- this incarnation of the Metal Men is the best yet. It's very faithful to everything I loved about the Silver Age version, with all the stupid parts (Crazy Platinum, the nickname "Tina", Doc's awful treatment of Platinum, Doc's paternal detachment from the group, boring Gold, and, most of all, 'Nameless') surgically removed. I'm very surprised at just how much I enjoyed this issue, and I really love what Johns and Reis did with these characters. I know Geoff Johns isn't much-beloved these days, but after this and his great Aquaman run, I'm reconsidering hating him so much. Reconsidering.

Peacemaker: Why Peace, Love, and Understanding Seemed Funny

I'm no expert on Charlton comics, I have fairly limited experience with their material and even most of their characters -- most of my knowledge comes directly from Who's Who. Not that that's much help in this case, as the Peacemaker had two profiles, one pre- and one post-Crisis, that are completely at odds with each other. His big claim to fame, as with most of the more notable Charlton heroes, is that he inspired a Watchmen character (namely the Comedian)

The thing about the Peacemaker is that, as a kid, I thought the concept as lined out in Who's Who was pretty laughable; a guy who digs peace and thus fights for it. It doesn't help that he has what is in my opinion the most unenviable costume in comics, bar none, with special mention going to the toilet bowl-esque helmet. I'd go so far as to say he was the world's lamest superhero until DC's Bloodlines event introduced a whole score of new crappy all-stars.

Peacemaker is Christopher Smith, a US peace envoy living in... Europe... somewhere, who is always solving trouble caused by never-named Soviet states (usually vaguely implied to be Eastern European or one of the Soviet -stans). His origin is all but non-existent, but check out hisr. arsenal of weapons.

First off, let's make this clear -- the Peacemaker is not a pacifist, and isn't even close. He basically never shoots anyone with a gun, this much is true, but he's culpable in hundreds of deaths by the end of his five-issue run. He knocks a frogman out and breaks his breathing apparatus before leaving him to drown; he uses his forehead-mounted laser to block off a rocky mine passage only to cause a massive explosion that kills dozens.  He even intentionally ruptured a nuclear sub's reactor, dooming most of its crew and all sea life within a 50 mile radius. There's nothing this man will not do in the interest of peace; he'll attack you in bed, he'll use chemical weapons... He's the worst peace-lover ever. 

His primary weapon is the laser mounted on his stupid helmet, as well as a jetpack on his back. None of that other crap in the diagram above is ever used, though he has an annoying habit of pulling just-the-right-gadget out of his Peace Cavity (such as a knock-out pellet intended for sharks, or a freeze gun). The laser is the worst peaceful weapon of its kind since Dr. Venture's Oo-Ray -- in the first two issues both times he uses it there are massive casualties

Peacemaker is an odd duck because he was clearly created in response to real-world fears of World War III, but his adventures quickly turn fantastical -- in the final issue of his series, he's fighting lava monsters and sporting an even worse helmet.

And, I'm just noticing, a different chest insignia. I suspect this was some attempt to retool Peacemaker into something other than a murderous, jackbooted thug; the villain of that piece was, after all, a more direct supervillain than any of the characters he'd faced before. Alas (or who am I kidding, thankfully) 'twas not to be. Peacemaker went on to make zero appearances of note in DC, except I hear for one of the Final Crisis Aftermath minis or something. Which is just as well, since nobody was clamoring for an encore with this guy.

It All Started with the Big Bang! Part 18! (Issue #34)

This is the second-to-last issue of Big Bang Comics, and the last one with actual Big Bang talent behind it; #35 is a crossover with Alan Moore's 1963 by Jim Valentino, and while it sort of reads like a "JLA vs Champions of Angor/Avengers vs. Squadron Supreme" story, I don't think it's really in the same spirit as other Big Bang fare. Especially not this one.

See, Wonder Woman's Silver Age material is not so fondly remembered as Superman's or Batman's. Among other things, she had the most pitiable rogue's gallery imaginable, with luminaries like Mouse Man and Dr. Domino. The solution to that was to make Silver Age Venus more of an ersatz Silver Age Thor; this makes her, along with the Badge, one of only two recurring Big Bang characters based partially on a Marvel hero. There's also some New Gods smatterings -- Venus's sidekick Cupid, seen tangling with Venus above, is clearly modeled after Mr. Miracle's sidekick Oberon.

The story turns out to be a pretty standard origin deal, though since Silver Age Venus' adventures in the Golden Age are still in-continuity, it's a rare re-origin. The Roman Gods have long abandoned Earth after they stopped being worshiped, and now live in a new Olympus on Jupiter. Well, most of them -- apparently Jupiter's brothers Neptune and Pluto, as well as his son Mars, live elsewhere (but not on their own namesake planets/dwarf planet, oddly). 

For the goddess of love and laughter, for some reason we're introduced to Venus in a sparring match with her stepson Cupid, who is hilariously envisioned as a balding, white-haired, musclebound dwarf. Yes, her stepson; he was born to some magic double of her by her ex-husband Mars. I don't really know why she hangs out with him, though. Or why he would look so much older than her.

Mercury is so tight-lipped he doesn't even deliver the message, he just directs them to Juno, who reveals that Jupiter is ailing. Venus goes to her father, who tells her that the gods are all in peril of dying as he is, because man's belief in them has waned so. Neptune, Pluto, and Mars remain strong, as they are still revered by many, and they will seek to take over the Earth once more upon Jupiter's passing -- thus Venus is to head to Earth to raise the good gods' stature in the human consciousness. 

The scene cuts to Pluto and Mars, who are spying on Jupiter and see this whole exchange. Like I said, Venus is a little Thor and a little New Gods -- rather than a god acting the part of Loki, Pluto and Mars play the roles of Darkseid and Kalibak, the fiendish overlord and his brutish aide-de-camp. Although, looking at the cover again, you'd think the roles were the reverse of how they are in the comic -- check out Mars' confident arm-fold vs Pluto's primal rage face.

They exposit about how actively they've been manipulating the world of late -- spreading hatred, prejudice, racial tension, etc, and are firm in their belief that Venus cannot drive mankind to love and laugh again. Also Mars has a grudge against her for spurning him. You know, if he can just spy on her whenever, I think that's the solution to his problem right there.

The human she rejected Mars for was Jason Proudhawk, an American GI. She was heartbroken when he was shot down in Korea, and retreated to Olympus, where she's been moping about it ever since. Gee, I wonder if he's still alive?

 Despite Jupiter not really mentioning him being part of the plan, Cupid tags along on the journey -- partially to watch out for Venus, partially for beer and pizza. I'm almost buying Cupid as a cute comic-relief sidekick, except he's not nearly as annoying as a real Silver Age comic-relief sidekick.

If you're like me, you'd think "hey, so the story can finally start for real now!" at this page... but it ends on the next one (or two, it's a spread), as Venus and Cupid land in the middle of a Vietnam War protest, between angry protesters and riot police. Man, she never got to meet her Funky Flashman!

Still, it was a pretty cool story. The Kirby impression was fairly convincing, and you can't argue with how straightforward the plot was. You'd be surprised the kind of stuff I have to leave out or gloss over when I cover most of these stories.

It all started with the Big Bang! Part 17! (issue #33)

For the first time in what seems like forever, this issue is a Round Table of America joint. We haven't seen them in a team context since the Savage Dragon met them at the Coolidge Dam. This also means the lesser RTA members, the ones who don't rate solo adventures, get to take center stage however briefly.

Oh, and speaking of, after that we have the missing story from Big Bang #18, featuring the Whiz Kids (who I don't remember being mentioned in the text summary in BB #18, but whatever). Speaking of, that's another group we haven't seen in a while.

The RTA's changed since we last saw them -- the Atomic Sub is dead by this point, for one thing. Robo Hood, the loose equivalent of the Green Arrow, is on the squad. Oh, and probably the most striking difference: Mike Merlin, the annoying Snapper Carr counterpart who also has magic powers, has since been transformed into Miss Merlin, who acts as a more direct Zatanna stand-in.

Jon Cosmos is basically Adam Strange, though his costume makes him look like a forgotten Legionnaire. The story doesn't pull any punches -- the stakes are laid out right on the first page. Jon Cosmos contacts the Round Table of America to stop the Gas Giants of Jupiter before they destroy Planet Omega. Well, he actually home-invades their headquarters in person, not even bothering to call ahead. 

Other than Robo-Hood and the Hummingbird, who had guard duty, the rest of the RTA had to drop whatever they were doing to answer the call to the Hall of Heroes.  Then Jon Cosmos' Matter Transporter sends them to Planet Omega... except for one.

Miss Merlin proves to be the Rudolph of the RTA -- she's excluded from the adventure for a lame reason, and left at HQ to cry herself to sleep instead. She's not even one of the floating heads on the splash page above. The Knight Watchman also seemed a little unnerved by her, and isn't used to calling her "Miss Merlin" instead of "Mike". You know, she took the time out of her day to show up for this mission, and then you exclude her?

I don't know, something tells me this isn't an isolated incident and that the RTA (or at least the Knight Watchman, the speaker in the above panel) makes a habit of marginalizing Miss Merlin. That's a fairly dark note for a space adventure to start on, isn't it? And I don't even know what to make of it, all I got from that scene is "Wow, the Knight Watchman is an asshole."

Functionally, this turns out to be mostly a Jon Cosmos/Robo Hood/Mr. Martian story, as they're the ones who either set the plot in motion or directly resolve it. Just as well, since other than Miss Merlin they're the only RTA members without solo adventures. They have to shine sometime, after all.

The RTA splits up to combat one Gas Giant each, as the big guys lay siege to several key locations for Planet Omega, including a solar power plant and an air purifier. This place only has one of each of those? Must be a small planet.

Gas Giants can turn people into gas, as they did with the Hummingbird here and Jon Cosmos' wife Princess Odyri prior to the beginning of the comic. I dig Hummingbird and all, but I'm not exactly surprised that he didn't have a lot to offer in this situation. Ultiman himself falls prey to the Gas Giants' gas transformation; he and Hummingbird are brought to safety before they dissipate, though. Only the Jon Cosmos/Robo-Hood team succeeds in vanquishing the Gas Giant they set out to defeat, courtesy of a laser shot its armor. Robo-Hood is a real wisecracker in the Spider-Man mold, by the way, nothing at all like your typical robot hero.

Mr. Martian and the Knight Watchman follow electroscope readings to a hidden spaceship, where the Knight Watchman is knocked out cold by its owner, infamous space villain Black Corona.

Black Corona seems vaguely like Brainiac but by my estimate just generally represents your typical evil space guy. Anyway, Mr. Martian is subjected to an utterly textbook "we're not so different", "we could rule together" speech, based on the logic that he owes nothing to the people of Planet Omega. Black Corona's really accommodating, and gives him a few hours to think it over. Oh, and Corona also reveals his plan to hurl Planet Omega into the sun. Mr. Martian communicates the details of the plan to the rest of the RTA, who put the kibosh on it pretty quickly before infiltrating the ship and bringing Corona down.

 In the aftermath, the Gas Giants show up again, this time peacefully. Turns out Black Corona had enslaved them, encasing their true gaseous forms in huge armored bodies and using their attacks to distract the people of Omega from his real plan. They reverse the "turned into gas" process on those afflicted (well, on the three named characters known to have been afflicted). Faced with the knowledge that they'll never reach Jupiter without being stuck in these forms forever (not really explained why), they remove the armor and dissipate into the atmosphere. Mr. Martian seems oddly happy about the whole thing and delivers a closing monologue, like he's Captain Picard or something.

The long-promised missing story from BB #18, eeeh, would probably be better in that context. Without the novelty of the Dragon crossover's gimmick (shifting art styles reflecting the time period) it's a little stale, though the Perez imitation is pretty great.

The Whiz Kids themselves don't do much in this story, sadly, but I'm fairly sure this is the team from the Whiz Kids one-shot and that the 'extra' Non-Galahad/Cyclone/Thunder Girl members get all the appropriate backstory and focus in that one. Anyway, this leads into a huge Everybody vs the Time Being fight.

In the melee Dragon recognizes the Earth-B Blitz from a previous encounter, and notes that there are two of him engaged in the battle. Since this whole thing started when a guy met himself, Dragon thinks it's in everyone's best interest for the Blitz to help him finish the Time Being off by taking him back to where it all began -- which is accomplished via the Cosmic Treadmill, duh.

...which is where the story from Big Bang #18 picks up. I'm not gonna lie to you, this segment was not worth the wait, as visually impressive as the two-page spread of the fight against the Time Being is. Being that this is Big Band #33, there's only one more regular issue of note (#35 is a crossover with 1963, brought to you by none of the normal Big Bang writers or artists) before the one-shots and Big Bang Presents.

What the Hell is up with Forever Evil #4?

Bada-bang, here it comes! Forever Evil #4 wasn't as bad as #2, which is thus far the low point due to excessive quantities of Johnny Quick, but it was still noxious as all Hell. Let me show you why and how.

We open in the Batcave, where I'm still surprised that Johns picked Batman to be the League's only representation in this series. He has a lot of pet characters in the JL, after all. Catwoman's there, too, and it's clear that this is the first time she's been in the 'cave.

I sort of get the Nightwing thing now, it was used to give Batman a stronger motivation for bringing down the Syndicate. Oh, and that's the wheel of a steam-powered motorcycle, by the way. It's not in running condition, illustrating that Batman is prepared but not, like, that prepared. Although a worldwide power outage wouldn't affect most internal combustion vehicles in the first place; didn't Johns ever play Devil Survivor?

Does she really think Batman needs a special toy to handle her? Anyway, he shows off his stuff -- a kryptonite ring, a yellow Sinestro Corps ring, that sorta stuff. We're really treading Infallible Bat-God territory here, but I'm letting that slide just this once because there's nobody else to challenge the Syndicate besides Lex's Legion of Doom.

Speaking of, there's an incredibly idiotic scene where Luthor compares himself to the members of his little team -- he talks about how people see him as a shark over a shot of Black Manta, for instance. 

Ultraman kills Metallo for his kryptonite heart in a fight that isn't even a fight. It was so worthwhile to develop Metallo in Villain Month just to kill him three months later, let me tell you.

Superwoman manages to sneak up on Ultraman and chides him for being paranoid, absorbing more kryptonite than he needs to because he's afraid of whatever destroyed Earth-3. She also reveals that she's pregnant and tries to stoke the Ultraman-Owlman feud by saying Owlman's plotting against the team. Geoff Johns has issues with women, is what I'm getting out of this.

As if Johns were punishing me for my continual disdain for the Power Ring character, he's once again the main Syndicate member in this issue -- Ultraman and Superwoman stop being relevant after appearing in two or three pages, and Grid puts in a token appearance that's still mostly dominated by Power Ring. Deathstorm abandons him and Ultraman charges PR with hunting down the Rogues himself. Power Ring freaks out and demands support from Grid.

The Doom Patrol, do they exist in the new continuity? I know Robotman was in My Greatest Adventure... Whatever, I guess they're established now if they weren't before. Meanwhile, for reasons not that clear, Luthor and his team break into Wayne Enterprises from the sewers. There's a 'cute' little moment between Bizarro and Luthor when it turns out Bizarro is afraid of the dark. And Luthor tells him a story to help him be brave. I stress that I am in no way joking, this is really what happens.

It's the feel-good story of the year! The zany but heartwarming adventures of Luthor and Bizarro! Bizarro finally got his name after hearing that he was called "B-Zero" and mangling it, which I admit was better than having some other character mishear it or something.

This seems as good a time as any to mention that Black Adam's jaw was broken by Ultraman last issue, and so his speech can't be understood by the other characters but is fairly easy for a reader to figure out by sounding out the words. It's mostly identical to how Johns' old Flash villain Murmur talks -- regular words and sentences with the vowels taken out. Apparently a broken jaw sounds the same as having no tongue and your lips sewn together. Or just trying to talk with your teeth clenched and lips half closed.

Luthor and Batman had the same idea, and they run right into each other in the Wayne building.

But before a real fight can break out between them, Power Ring shows up with an utterly random assortment of villains. He also says a cringe-worthy one-liner.

Wow, almost forgot that the Syndicate had every regular villain under their thrall. Especially since Ultraman's spent his last two meaningful appearances beating up regular villains. Incidentally, this is a fairly random assortment -- Deathstroke, Copperhead, Giganta, I think that's Blockbuster, and Shadow-Thief? The connection...? 

From a technical standpoint, you could argue that Power Ring is the perfect Batman villain, as he is nothing if not cowardly (jury's out on superstitious). Of course, it's practically bullying to both be Batman and a Yellow Lantern and go up against him. As a sidenote, Batman is 100% not evil, unlike every other person with a yellow ring besides I guess Nero -- Johns unwittingly pointed out a flaw in his own premise by showing a Yellow Lantern use his ring's powers for good, thus illustrating that the Sinestro Corps probably shouldn't be the mustache-twirling corps of pure evil.

It turns out that, oddly, Power Ring isn't vulnerable to yellow ring crap -- he handles Batman's constructs and even takes and destroys his ring very easily. And then Sinestro shows up.

I was surprised by Sinestro's appearance because I don't know what stake he could possibly have in all this. He probably doesn't care about Earth, for one thing, and I know he was a notable absence in the villain meet-up in #1. Most probably he's just there to help round out the Legion of Doom. That or Johns wants to do the "you killed my beloved -- er, arch-enemy!" thing he did with Black Manta again.